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“You Don’t Owe Me a Thing”

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My sweet sis always says everything happens for a reason. She’s ridden enough of the roller coaster of life that this statement is deserving of respect. I find her calm and steady assurance that all will work for the good ever reassuring. Though my “little” sister and I have always been friends, it wasn’t until our adulthood that we became true allies to one another in every area of life. It is she, more than any other, who offers me the greatest sense of belonging, strength and understanding. She gave me a gift for my high school graduation that set us off on this new depth of connection. It is a framed picture that still sits on my dresser; our smiling faces look enthusiastically up at the camera from the lens of childhood, our arms protectively around one another. It also holds a short poem: “My sister deserves to know, that even though I don’t always show it, she is absolutely essential to the happiness that lives within my heart.” Reading that, I knew that whatever sense of juvenile competition or disagreement had kept us apart, she had loved me always, and always would. She deserves to know this too…she is forever my love.
She became a mother young, and has always been a working mother. Though of course I may be a trifle biased, her two daughters are amazing and beautiful, soft and strong, sharing many of my sis’s wonderful qualities. Her name is Alyssa, recognizing the sweet fragrance and appearance of the alyssum flower, but meaning logical. Though she is quite rational, and this appellation indeed fits her, I think it’s her bold and logic-defying belief in the presence of God’s master plan in all things that inspires me most. She has worked hard at shaping her thoughts in this way, and to do what Winston Churchill suggests of optimists: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”  Coupled with this strength is an unshakeable loyalty and dedication to those she loves, accentuating her beauty more and more every day. Another quote, by an unknown author, reflects the power of her life best: “After all this time, the sun has yet to say to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that: it lights up the world!” What a powerful gift, to pour yourself out for others, and still look them in the eye as if to say, “You don’t owe me a thing”. Her love most certainly shines as one of the brightest lights in my journey. “Blessed are those who give without remembering, and take without forgetting” (Elizabeth Bibesco).

Trees of Life…

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There’s not much that stirs my soul quite so much as the simplicity of a tree blowing in a strong wind. All those leaves, the growth, the color & life, the resiliency, the acceptance of the sun & wind & warmth & cold…it moves me. The thing about trees is that they are rooted. If those roots go down deep & have been steadily nourished over time, there’s not much that can budge a tree. We too, need our roots to sink down deep into rich soil. If we are founded in Him, fed by His Word, then, we too shall be unmoved by the storms & circumstantial weather of life. The songwriter Dennis Jernigan sings about this beautifully: “Though the winds may blow, He is my shelter….He is constantly watching over me.”

 

In Proverbs 3, Solomon speaks of wisdom being “a tree of life to those who embrace her”. It seems that’s a promise for us as well, at least in two senses:

  1. We can embrace the wisdom of God, & be given Life….maybe even a taste of the Life that was offered in the Garden of Eden, where that tree was originally found.
  2. As we pursue that Life, we can share its wisdom with others, offering them to chance to embrace it too, becoming shelter for them as they root themselves in Him.  

The prophet Isaiah assures us in Chapter 62: “This will be for the Lord’s renown, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.”

Success Defined

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Though I know I shouldn’t, I worry about success all the time. I’m an eldest child who grew up in a Legalistic church, so it’s really no surprise I became a task-oriented perfectionist.  In part, that’s well and good. It’s has to be fitting and right to desire to do things well, to find satisfaction in a job well-done, to cultivate the harvest of whatever realm we give ourselves. These kinds of desires have played out in the lives of influential people for all time. As cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”  And yet, at the same time, one can become quite driven, focused on outcome instead of process. As Ann Voskamp has said, “Perfectionism is a slow death by self.” It’s all too easy to spend ourselves on things that aren’t truly worthy of the cost of our lives, all too common to find ourselves with a need to please those around us. Too often, we become anchored unstably in our perceived notions of their expectations. Too often, we live under the impression we’re casting our cares away, but if we refuse to share their burdens with others in intentional ways, our cares have made us castaways to the people we love the most. No small wonder all my life, I’ve found myself craving Life I can’t generate on my own.
How should we measure success? Does a perfect God require perfection, and if not, exactly what does He expect of us? The prophet Micah answers this question quite simply and succinctly: “What does the Lord require of you, but to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). Ralph Waldo Emerson also offered a great definition of what success looks like: “To laugh often & much, to win the respect of intelligent people & the affection of children, to know even ONE  life has breathed easier because you have lived, THIS is to succeed.” May we be fair to those we encounter, maintain a passion for compassion, and walk in authenticity and humility with God and one another. May we each help even one life to breath easier through the givenness and offering of our lives.

“I’m Coming for You”-

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I have this friend who just embodies generosity. I don’t know how she does it, but she just continuously pours out to all around her, yet still remains completely whole. If there’s a need, she always seems to be there to fill it. What’s more, & this is an amazing gift, everywhere she is, she’s fully present right in that place. The first thing she did was share with me her kids, her greatest treasure, as students & as friends.  And then, she just never stopped giving, becoming the truest of friends. You just can’t escape her love.

They say that love has languages (Gary Chapman), & that most people express themselves best through either acts of service, gifts, quality time, touch, or words of affirmation. I can pinpoint most people’s native tongue pretty quickly, but though I’ve known this friend many years, I just can’t seem to tell about her. She does them all, over & over again, living out what’s been said: “Love is the infinite victory.” Maybe, it’s really love that she embodies. 

God’s like that. He just embodies generous love. He continuously pours Himself out, yet remains completely whole. When you really need Him, He just knows.He’s just there, fully present right in that place. First He shared Himself, & designed us from before eternity; then, He shared His Son, His most precious treasure. He just never stops giving, never stops speaking each of our languages of love, never stops pursuing us all. Wherever we go, there He is, as if He’s saying, “I’m coming for you, I’m coming for you, wherever you go” (Audrey Assad). However far we may run, we can’t outrun His love (Psalm 139:7-12, Romans 8:35-39). It truly is THE infinite victory. Maybe, He really IS Love.

“I Haven’t Moved…”-

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A story is told of an older couple driving down the road in their aged, but reliable vehicle. Suddenly a convertible speeds by, providing a view of a young couple at the helm, huge smiles on their faces and obviously in love, the woman practically sitting in the man’s lap. The old woman looks on with a touch of envy and comments, “What happened to us? We used to be just like them, so in love.” Without flinching or taking his eyes off the road, her husband replies, “Well, I don’t know. I haven’t moved.”

The story makes me laugh, but at the same time, I’m reminded of my relationship with the Lord. So often, I feel distant and removed from Him, and wonder why He feels far off. But He never moves. Though omniscient and omnipotent, He remains always omnipresent. Not only is He always with me, He is also always approachable. The mighty, magnificent, majestic God of the universe desires me to come near, and assures me He’ll always be glad to see me. In James 4:8 we are promised, “Come near to God, and He will come near to you.” Zephaniah 3:17 assures us, “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing.” Whatever condition I may be in, He hasn’t moved. Ruth Meyers summarized the mystery of these thoughts well: “To think that You not only permit me to come before You, but You actually desire my fellowship, my worship, my prayers, and my eternal presence!”

“O Light that Followeth All My Way” (George Matheson)…

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Presently, I find myself in a great life transition, having left a teaching career I found fulfilling and rewarding for over ten years. I moved back to an area I love, but had moved away from just over two years ago, without a new position or clear idea of what work I’ll be able to find in the future. To most outsiders, it must seem as though I’ve lost it, and I guess in a way, I have. The period preceding the decision was something of a “dark night of the soul”, in which I struggled to find a way to do the work before me well with the challenges presented by physical health, and grew sorrowful at the impact it seemed my poor teaching and unclear thinking were having on my students. For several years, it’s felt as though I’ve been physically pushing an invisible brick wall with every step, but have always been provided the strength to do so. Last fall, however, unmoving walls seemed to surround me on every side.  As I cried out to God again and again for a way out, He continuously revealed to me “[my] walls are ever before [Him]” (Isaiah 49:16). As one friend commented, suddenly instead of trying to push out all the walls, a way was provided to go around and find a new path.

 

Though the decision was radical, I knew in the deepest parts of my soul it was necessary. I can’t fault God’s provision in providing a clear and open path, surrounded in His “light that followeth all my way” (George Matheson). God provided peace in placing the students in new and capable hands, worked out a thousand small details in moving to a place of greater support, and reminded me of the many friends willing to walk alongside me in the journey. Several of those friends offered me places to stay, and now here I am, sitting in a lovely studio apartment overlooking the San Juan Mountains, full of the love and light of this amazing family, full of the provenance of the Lord. Though no job has yet presented itself and in many ways I am searching, I know this is a precious opportunity to rest. My Shepherd has promised not to leave me in need of His abundance, companionship, direction, protection, provision, rest, restoration, and even satisfaction (Psalm 23). So I “praise the bridge that carried [me] over” (George Colman, the Younger), and with George Matheson, proclaim:  

 

“O Light that foll’west all my way

I yield my flick’ring torch to thee

My heart restores its borrowed ray

That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day

May brighter, fairer be.”

“It’s a Pleasure”…

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Sometime in college, a group of friends and I took hold of the phrase, “It’s a pleasure” when we would perform some small act of service for one another. The phrase revolutionized our views on anything that could be considered work, though long before looking positively at the long devotion of the daily “grind” became an exercise of the will, instead of merely a passion of youth. There’s this friend of mine who truly seems to radiate this truth. We served together on the same team of middle school teachers, and I saw her live out her delight in helping others again and again. I’d also call her my processing friend. She’s always prompting her students to think critically and imaginatively, helping others think through things positively, always processing things herself. Though she puzzles often at the heartache and flawed systems in the world, that only seems to inspire her more to do whatever she can to help them change for the better.

 

Since she also took me in as her friend, and even an adopted daughter, I have since become the beneficiary of her kindness over and over again. She would often graciously help me navigate the small community in which she’d lived most of her adult life as I got to know it for myself. When illness hit and my family wasn’t nearby, she did everything in her power to help me get the care I needed and continue to teach. With everything from driving me to long distance appointments and providing a listening ear, to helping me grade papers and plan lessons, the phrase I’d receive in return for any thanks was, “It’s my pleasure. I would LOVE to do that for you.”
There aren’t many people that regularly render any service with such flexibility and joy. This friend convinced me more than ever how crucial it is to adopt this attitude toward life and relationships and work. It’s not only that she’s touched my life profoundly with her friendship and kindness, it’s also watching the world change ever so slightly with each act. How much lighter any task seems when we can gladly and enthusiastically offer it, whether it is in service to a friend or to God, for the good of humanity, or even just for ourselves. In I Corinthians 10:31, the Apostle Paul encourages us to take every task, even eating and drinking, and do each in a way that it can indeed be seen as an offering for the greater good: “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it ALL for the glory of God.”

“O Love that Will Not Let Me Go” (George Matheson)-

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Scottish author George Matheson, who lived between 1842-1906, began to lose his sight at the age of twenty, and was told by doctors it would soon be lost completely and irrevocably. When he shared the prognosis with his fiancee at, she broke off the engagement, fearing she could not face sharing life with a blind husband. Though he did in fact lose both his sight and his betrothed, he gave thanks for the friendship and care of a beloved sister, who also remained single. With her help, he left writing and began to preach, gaining a large following. Twenty years later, the sister who had been his companion in life, fell in love and was married. The story goes that on the eve of her wedding, he sat alone in the church, filled with sorrow at the loss he faced. He found great comfort in the Lord, and was filled with words that later became the hymn, “O Love that Will Not Let Me Go”. Though he wrote many hymns, he said this was the only one he completed in five minutes, and never needed to edit a single word.The first stanza goes as follows:

“O Love that will not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in thee

I give thee back the life I owe

That in thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be.”

What inspiring words of the only love that could never fail. George Matheson continued to serve God as a pastor, proving daily the faithfulness of his Heavenly Father and Pastor to provide for his every need. Though life often seems to require sacrifices of us we find hard to face, we can know we are not alone in our sojourns. We can be assured the depths of the flow of His love will always exceed our need, and always pursue our hearts.