Service – Page 2 – SparrowSong

Stepping Up…(From the Night of the Buffalo)

April 4, 2017April 4, 2017 sparrowsongLeave a comment

For the past several years, since before my twenty-ninth birthday, I’ve woken up each morning feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. More accurately, as if that buffalo hit me. Yes…a buffalo, though technically, it was a North-American bison. In opening my eyes to face a new day, in the blink of an eye, I can see the night my dog and I collided with him. The car lights shining on a dark night on the Colorado highway failed to warn us of his shadow standing in the road. We certainly woke him up from a nap, but he crawled off the car and stumbled back into the road behind us to stand again. That buffalo took several years to make me feel the impact of its collision, but I definitely feel it now. I’m lucky: we collided, but nothing shattered, no one died. There’s no question we were protected. It’s really a miracle, but indeed, a miracle that changed everything. Leif Enger wrote, “People fear miracles because they fear being changed-though ignoring them will change you also.” Had I known it was coming, I’m sure I would have been afraid. Now, I pray it has changed me, molded me, transformed me. Now, I fear most ignoring the miraculous in it all.

In his powerful Superpower poem, Steve Gross wrote, “it takes practice…to get beyond the whole half-full, half-empty question, and just be grateful for the glass.” I hope I’ll practice, hope I’ll cultivate that gratitude for the glass I’ve been given. Though I’ve yet to meet another who has shared the experience of hitting a buffalo, I’m definitely not the only one to battle illness, or to spend her life fighting the gravity of life and the depravity of man. As I get moving, get stretching, and receive the warmth of a hot shower each day, I can feel my broken back begin to hold itself upright again. My muscles and joints begin to move more easily, the head clears, and for the rest of the day, I have the ability to move and walk and live well. Many would give anything just to have two legs that can walk. I may have to work pretty hard at making this body functional, but if I do, it functions. Many would give anything to have a body responsive to their cues and efforts. Sure, there’s pain, but I’ve been provided with so many tools, so many gifts, so many friends who love and support me. Mostly, it’s easy to get discouraged when encountering the ways pain has changed me, and resisting the limits it has placed on my life. Again, the choice is presented each day. Albert Einstein once prompted us to choose well: “There are two ways in which you can live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is a miracle.” I can be grateful and work hard, or I can let pain filter my existence and illness the condition that defines me. Will I choose to awaken to limitation, or to live unlimited? All I must do to maintain a sense of wonder is receive the mercies offered anew every morning.

Most days, with the difficulty of just putting one foot in front of another, it does seem simplest to quit: to stop trying so hard and just let it all take its natural course. If I make that choice, things quickly degenerate. My body can’t get enough of the drug of rest. If I am to live in hope, I must cling to God’s promises. There is no experience wasted and no downward spiral that can separate us from the His love, even those that are self-generated. ALL is being worked for good. The good work that He began, He will complete. Author Roy Lessin affirms this so well, expounding on the reality of God’s Kingdom. It’s a wonderful point:

“Everything in this world is moving in a downward direction-our bodies are a little older than they were yesterday; the parts in our cars have more wear than they had yesterday; even the earth is aging like a worn garment. In God’s kingdom, things are just the opposite for us. Everything moves in an upward direction-we go from faith to faith, from glory to glory, and from strength to strength. Our characters are being conformed to the image of Jesus, our spiritual lives mature, our love for the Lord deepens, and He becomes more precious with time. Today you can confidently say, ‘It is well with my soul…and it will be even better tomorrow.”

This is the hope of our journey in stepping Heavenward, in stepping up.

Grace…

March 31, 2017March 31, 2017 sparrowsongLeave a comment

Grace…what a beautiful word! Which one of hasn’t longed to find a way to redeem our mistakes, to have an encounter that would make us whole, to accept light and love for ourselves, and to extend this full life to others? Merriam-Webster defines grace as: “unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance.” Sometimes it’s so hard to extend grace to others; mostly, it seems insurmountable to really accept it for ourselves. I think this is why the Apostle Paul said it over and over in his letters: “Grace and peace to you through Christ.” It takes many experiences to show us our need, many reminders it is ours for the taking, many encounters to truly transform. Although it’s freely offered, it wasn’t cheap, for it was purchased for us through the precious blood of Christ. It waits for us always, needs only be accepted, is relentless in its pursuit, and brings us true and lasting peace,. Ann Voskamp says it this way: “Grace is like the wind. It finds us as we are, but it does not leave us as we have been….ALL is grace.” All is grace.

If we can remain open enough to receive the unmerited favor that always awaits us, then perhaps our experiences will ultimately be woven into something beautiful? If we long to redo different steps in our journeys, then perhaps we’ve ventured out enough to risk mistakes, and to know the value of forgiveness? Grace involves acceptance of the beauty of what IS, but it also entails the willingness to risk. As André Gide once said, “One cannot see new lands, unless he is prepared to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” To truly find the wind in our sails, we might indeed lose sight of the shore, but we can never escape the endless ocean of God’s gracious love.

“Maybe wholeness is not reaching for perfection in your life; maybe wholeness is embracing brokenness as part of your life….Maybe life always tastes a bit like regret. Whatever you do or don’t do, there is no way to never taste it. And though you may have to taste regret, you don’t have to believe in it, you don’t have to live in it, like rowing a boat that only goes backward, trying to find something that’s been washed out to sea. It’s god’s sea. And that means all is grace” (The Broken Way, Ann Voskamp).

A good friend…a fellow teacher and blogger, a beautiful woman and mom, in trysting with her pen, reflected:

“You Don’t Owe Me a Thing”

March 28, 2017 sparrowsongLeave a comment

My sweet sis always says everything happens for a reason. She’s ridden enough of the roller coaster of life that this statement is deserving of respect. I find her calm and steady assurance that all will work for the good ever reassuring. Though my “little” sister and I have always been friends, it wasn’t until our adulthood that we became true allies to one another in every area of life. It is she, more than any other, who offers me the greatest sense of belonging, strength and understanding. She gave me a gift for my high school graduation that set us off on this new depth of connection. It is a framed picture that still sits on my dresser; our smiling faces look enthusiastically up at the camera from the lens of childhood, our arms protectively around one another. It also holds a short poem: “My sister deserves to know, that even though I don’t always show it, she is absolutely essential to the happiness that lives within my heart.” Reading that, I knew that whatever sense of juvenile competition or disagreement had kept us apart, she had loved me always, and always would. She deserves to know this too…she is forever my love.
She became a mother young, and has always been a working mother. Though of course I may be a trifle biased, her two daughters are amazing and beautiful, soft and strong, sharing many of my sis’s wonderful qualities. Her name is Alyssa, recognizing the sweet fragrance and appearance of the alyssum flower, but meaning logical. Though she is quite rational, and this appellation indeed fits her, I think it’s her bold and logic-defying belief in the presence of God’s master plan in all things that inspires me most. She has worked hard at shaping her thoughts in this way, and to do what Winston Churchill suggests of optimists: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Coupled with this strength is an unshakeable loyalty and dedication to those she loves, accentuating her beauty more and more every day. Another quote, by an unknown author, reflects the power of her life best: “After all this time, the sun has yet to say to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that: it lights up the world!” What a powerful gift, to pour yourself out for others, and still look them in the eye as if to say, “You don’t owe me a thing”. Her love most certainly shines as one of the brightest lights in my journey. “Blessed are those who give without remembering, and take without forgetting” (Elizabeth Bibesco).

Trees of Life…

March 27, 2017 sparrowsongLeave a comment

There’s not much that stirs my soul quite so much as the simplicity of a tree blowing in a strong wind. All those leaves, the growth, the color & life, the resiliency, the acceptance of the sun & wind & warmth & cold…it moves me. The thing about trees is that they are rooted. If those roots go down deep & have been steadily nourished over time, there’s not much that can budge a tree. We too, need our roots to sink down deep into rich soil. If we are founded in Him, fed by His Word, then, we too shall be unmoved by the storms & circumstantial weather of life. The songwriter Dennis Jernigan sings about this beautifully: “Though the winds may blow, He is my shelter….He is constantly watching over me.”

In Proverbs 3, Solomon speaks of wisdom being “a tree of life to those who embrace her”. It seems that’s a promise for us as well, at least in two senses:

We can embrace the wisdom of God, & be given Life….maybe even a taste of the Life that was offered in the Garden of Eden, where that tree was originally found.
As we pursue that Life, we can share its wisdom with others, offering them to chance to embrace it too, becoming shelter for them as they root themselves in Him.

The prophet Isaiah assures us in Chapter 62: “This will be for the Lord’s renown, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.”

Success Defined

March 26, 2017March 26, 2017 sparrowsongLeave a comment

Though I know I shouldn’t, I worry about success all the time. I’m an eldest child who grew up in a Legalistic church, so it’s really no surprise I became a task-oriented perfectionist. In part, that’s well and good. It’s has to be fitting and right to desire to do things well, to find satisfaction in a job well-done, to cultivate the harvest of whatever realm we give ourselves. These kinds of desires have played out in the lives of influential people for all time. As cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” And yet, at the same time, one can become quite driven, focused on outcome instead of process. As Ann Voskamp has said, “Perfectionism is a slow death by self.” It’s all too easy to spend ourselves on things that aren’t truly worthy of the cost of our lives, all too common to find ourselves with a need to please those around us. Too often, we become anchored unstably in our perceived notions of their expectations. Too often, we live under the impression we’re casting our cares away, but if we refuse to share their burdens with others in intentional ways, our cares have made us castaways to the people we love the most. No small wonder all my life, I’ve found myself craving Life I can’t generate on my own.
How should we measure success? Does a perfect God require perfection, and if not, exactly what does He expect of us? The prophet Micah answers this question quite simply and succinctly: “What does the Lord require of you, but to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). Ralph Waldo Emerson also offered a great definition of what success looks like: “To laugh often & much, to win the respect of intelligent people & the affection of children, to know even ONE life has breathed easier because you have lived, THIS is to succeed.” May we be fair to those we encounter, maintain a passion for compassion, and walk in authenticity and humility with God and one another. May we each help even one life to breath easier through the givenness and offering of our lives.