Category: Presence

“I’ll Follow the Sun…”

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I’m loving the extra light within each day as summer approaches. Every morning I’m greeted by a stunning sunrise creeping over the jagged mountain peaks, stirring my soul and taking my breath away as it gradually lights and touches them with rainbow hues. But…I should say that’s true–the light stirs my soul and takes my breath away–only if I let it. I must take the moment to breathe deep, to be still, to take in all that goodness–a surprisingly difficult feat. That act of stillness is a gift of kindness I can show myself or share with others. Most days, I drive myself on to the next thing and the next thing without taking the time to stop and accept the series of similar gracious gifts I’m given, forgetting what Mary Oliver says, “Sometimes I need only stand wherever I am to be blessed.” 

 

I’m currently taking a wonderful course from Life is Good Playmakers called “Compassion is a Superpower.” It highlights the fact that human beings are all wired with compassion and empathy but that these are qualities that can be controlled. We can each either choose to repress them, as we often do out of busyness, or cultivate them. Yet the simple act of being PRESENT, opening our eyes to truly see those around us, can help us to show more empathy and grow the quality of compassion. Research has shown that different areas of our brain respond and grow as a result. Learning about this science takes me back to the importance of breathing to slow down each day, reminding myself that life is not an emergency. 

 

Another study I’m doing highlights verse six of the Twenty-Third Psalm: “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” As author Jennifer Rothschild says, this promises us that “…goodness and mercy invade every scene of our stories” (emphasis mine). Jennifer also asks, since that is the condition we are being left in, do we also allow goodness and mercy to follow us when we leave a room or an interaction? I want to live slowly and intentionally enough that this is true. I also know that I can’t give what I don’t have. If I am to show empathy towards others, I must first allow enough space and grace in my life that I can practice self-compassion. An unknown author encourages us, “Validate humanity without highlighting brokenness.” What an important practice in both the way I treat myself and others.

 

I want to “Follow the Sun,” as Xavier Rudd sings:

 

 

“So follow, follow the sun…

The direction of the bird,

The direction of love.”

 

 
When I think of living in the light, I think of living in the full-fledged Presence of God. Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote, “Earth’s crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire w/ God; but only he who sees takes off his shoes.” If that’s true, I aim to walk barefooted through this one great life we’ve been given. I hope I can stay with this thought from Max Lucado: “Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, STOP, remain that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, “Do you like it? I did it just for you?”

“Abiding…”

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As nice as it can be to adventure, travel, and see new or favorite sights, it’s always wonderful to come HOME. Our homes provide us with shelter and resources, offering us the comfort of familiarity, simultaneously reflecting the individuality and commonality within our shared humanity. We choose our dwellings in the places we love and surround ourselves with friends and family who provide us with affection, companionship, and safety. 

 

Apart from the physical places we inhabit, we are also invited to another. In John 15:9, Jesus tells us that as the Father loves Him, so He has loved us, and invites us to ABIDE, to make our home, in His love. Wherever I’m at, He offers me “…a place where I can enter and be at rest, even when all around me is a sea of trouble” (Andrew Murray). His love and presence are unconditional and unfailing. As Deuteronomy says, “The eternal God is our refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.”

 

This invitation reminds me of a favorite love song, one that describes the heart of my abiding God even better, “To Make You Feel My Love.” Bob Dylan wrote:

 

“When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love

 

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

 

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet

But I would never do you wrong

I’ve known it from the moment that we met

No doubt in my mind where you belong

 

I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue

I’d go crawling down the avenue

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do

To make you feel my love

 

The storms are raging on the rollin’ sea

And on the highway of regret

Put your hand in mine and come with me

I’ll see that you don’t get wet

 

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

Nothing that I wouldn’t do

Go to the ends of the earth for you

To make you feel my love.”

 

Within the heights & depths of our human experience, we may feel unseen at times, regardless of who we share our lives with tangibly. God sees and surrounds us with His Presence. He unfailingly goes behind & before us. He hems us in (Psalm 139:6), lives with us, loves us, sees us, understands us. He is THE ultimate Witness to each of our journeys. As the Psalmist proclaims:

“You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in-behind and before me…. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far ends of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light becomes night around me,” even the darkness will not hide me, the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created me in my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:3-5a,7-13, NIV).

Let us accept Jesus’ invitation to share our respective & collective journeys with Him. “Remain in Me, & I will remain in you” (John 15:3). In celebration of this gift, we can rejoice with the cry of the disciple John: “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (I John 3:1, emphasis mine).

“Emmanuel: God With Us…”

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I have a few friends who have nailed the art of being present. When I’m with them, they look at me, listen without interruption or distraction, nod their heads as they actively participate in the conversation, and then offer their hearts and lives in exchange. Because they’re so focused, they have this way of showing others they matter. It’s a gift to receive that kind of love, to have others who are there, ready to celebrate or cry or just sit beside me, willing to offer their strength or joy or compassion. 

 

God’s like this. He gives Himself fully to each one of us, with the infinite capacity to be present in all of us in life’s ups and downs, in just the ways we need. He pursues us and fills us to overflowing with His individual ministrations and unconditional love. How telling it is that two of His names are “I AM” and “Emmanuel/God With Us.” During the Christmas season, we remember that the Eternal God sent His beloved Son as the long-awaited Saviour. He would dwell as man with us and give His life as an atonement for our sins. 

 

I love that on his Christmas album, accompanied by Yo Yo Ma, James Taylor sings the Beatles’ song, “Here Comes the Sun.”The Son has come, and His arrival changes everything: “Little Darlin’, it’s been a long and lonely winter…but here comes the sun. Here comes the sun, and I say, well, it’s alright.” 

 

Taylor also sings one of my favorite Christmas songs, “In the Bleak Midwinter,” an old English carol based on a Nineteenth-Century poem by Christina Rosetti:

 

“In the bleak midwinter/A stable sufficed;

The Lord God Almighty—Jesus Christ…

What can I give Him/Poor as I am?

If I were a Shepherd/I would bring a lamb;

If I were a Wise Man/I would do my part,—

Yet what I can I give Him—Give my heart.”

 

O Come, Emmanuel, be present with us this winter, in each day, as you have in ages past. Thank you for providing us with access to the ultimate gift—the feast of your presence.

“Come Rain or Come Shine…”

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“Come Rain or Come Shine” was Billie Holiday’s song, & no one sings it like she did. Only she could so soulfully, so sweetly, so gently sing the words to what each & every one of our hearts long to hear from our beloved:

 

You’re gonna love me, like nobody’s loved me, come rain or come shine.

High as a mountain, deep as a river, come rain or come shine.

 

It’s such a beautiful song, & what an amazing promise it offers, but…do the words carry any truth? Is it really possible to find that elusive love, or even to faithfully offer it to another?

 

Though all good relationships are proved in their ability to weather the storms mentioned in this song, few in this world come close to dwelling in that symbiotic state where love is given & remains unfailing…always, forever. Life can be beautiful when we find love, but it can be messy too, just as anything involving human beings is. Our love falls short of being perfectly patient, kind, unconditional or selfless. Only through Jesus do we experience the satiating love whose width & breadth & height & depth all surpass our understanding. All tangible glimpses we are given here somehow first flowed from His throne. 

 

The love & friendship He offers us is truly incomprehensible to the human mind, truly intimate. Casting Crowns sings about the extravagance of His love: 

 

“Your love is extravagant, Your friendship intimate.

Spread wide in the arms of Christ, is the love that covers sin.

 No greater love have I ever known than You considered me a friend.

 You’ve captured my heart again.”

 

God knows our every flaw & failure, & loves us still, more than we can fathom. There is no fear in His love, for no matter what we do, He could never love us more or less than He already does. His love is already that complete. Zephaniah 3:17 tells us that He takes great delight in us, quiets us with His love, & rejoices over us with singing. 

 

His Word is His love letter to us, & His creation continually plays the melody of His song. In the words of John Denver in Annie’s Song, we could, in turn, say of our Lord:

 

You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest, like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain. 

Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses. Come fill me again.

Come, let me love you. Let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms.

Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you. Come, let me love you, come love me again.

 

We are made new in relationship with Him. We receive the love He has for us, but we also receive His ability to offer that heart to the world. An old poem by an unknown author says: “I love Thee Lord, but with no love of mine, for I have none to give. I love Thee Lord, but all the love is Thine, for by Thy love I live. I am as nothing, & rejoice to be, emptied & hollowed & swallowed up in Thee.” By His grace, we can boldly sing to my Saviour, Friend, Father & Beloved: 

 

“I’m gonna love you, like nobody’s loved you, come rain or come shine.

High as a mountain, deep as a river, come rain or come shine.”

“Feeding on Mystery: The Table Before Me…”

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We all know it to be true…our lives can change in an instant, in a single breath. Some years crawl and plod on with seeming monotony, yet each day holds wonders untold. Then there are the days where something shifts. For better or worse, the unexpected comes. At times, among those surprises are the things we’ve long hoped and prayed for, revealing the unbelief that resided in our hearts all along. At others, unspoken fears are realized or loss we never imagined possible occurs. We must find ways to accept life’s ambiguity and mystery in order to find happiness and peace.

 

In her stunning book 1,000 Gifts, Ann Voskamp provides an eloquent exposition of the Hebrew word manna, meaning, “What is it?” As the Israelites exited their time of slavery in Egypt and began their desert journey to the Promised Land, God rained down manna bread from heaven to nourish them each day. Though plentiful, they couldn’t store it up—each family could gather only what it could eat in a day and must trust God’s provision would be there again the next day. Though delicious, this was to be their sustenance for forty years—meal after meal, day after day. Amazed at first by the miracle God faithfully performed on their behalf, the Israelites cried out in wonder, “What is it?” But as the days and years of wandering in a barren place wore on, their amazement soon turned to grumbling.

 

This is so true in my own life. At first, when God provides for me in the dry places, I’m inclined to see His hand and marvel at His goodness and might. As time goes by, however, my eyes are blinded to the countless ways He works on my behalf. Contentment soon changes to dissatisfaction. I grow tired of feeding on mystery and desire to simply understand the purpose of it all.

 

In Psalm 23:5, David writes, “He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” There’s never a shortage of enemies in life, though they come in many forms. The promise, however, is that there is always a table prepared for ME in His presence. I don’t expect or desire it to be filled with mystery, with provisions that are difficult to identify. But so it is. God asks me to take the bread He has given, that He has been broken in order to break with me, and to call it grace. And so I will.

 

The following verse of Psalm 23 states, “Surely goodness & mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Though unknown, though highly unpredictable…surely good things are in store. As Albert Einstein said, “There are two ways in which you can live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle.” 

***Photo Credits: lovedoes.org

“No Longer Slaves…”

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In order to get a handle on right thinking, I know I must also confront and master the worry in my life. It’s been said that worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair–always moving but never getting anywhere. Though that certainly rings true of my own experiences, I find worry a hard habit to break.

 

The tasks of daily living, finances, health, relationships, and work are just a few of the themes that call for our attention and time. With every breath, I realize more how little control I have in life, yet I continue to fight for it. When confronted with my own powerlessness in any given situation, I want to at least be able to DO something, and worry seems to keep me busy and meet my anxious desire. 

 

In reality, however, I’ve been given much better options than worry. Meditation and prayer are powerful tools at my disposal for changing my own thinking and communing with the heart of God. Corrie Ten Boom, WWII concentration camp survivor and author of The Hiding Place, tells us, “Any concern too small to be turned upward into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.” Whatever burdens our hearts, regardless of how minor or major, can be taken to the throne of God, to which we have free access through Jesus.

 

A dear friend of mine told me once that a counselor encouraged her to use a very practical tool to break the habits of worry and anxiety in her life. He suggested choosing a coat from her closet and labeling it as her “worry coat.” Any time she wanted to worry, she could, as long as she first put on the coat and wore it the entire time she fretted over things. As my friend followed her counselor’s advice, feeling ridiculous each time she wore the coat and eager to end the habit so that she could take it off, she gradually realized how much control she had over her thoughts. With a bit of discipline and a visual tool, she saw a tremendous decrease in her worry.

 

This discipline comes with one of the greatest promises in all of Scripture: “Be anxious in nothing, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Phillippians 4:6-7, NIV). It’s such a powerful visual to think of peace literally sitting watch and guarding the door of our hearts and minds! 

 

A song by Jonathan David & Melissa Helser of Bethel Music assures us we are “No Longer Slaves” of fear, but instead, children of God. The lyrics beautifully remind us to claim that identity:

 

You unravel me with a melody, You surround me with a song

Of deliverance, from my enemies, Till all my fears are gone.

I’m no longer a slave of fear–I am a child of God.

 

May peace that surpasses understanding guard each of our hearts and minds today. As Sarah Williams said, “I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

“Thoughts of God…”-

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Solomon tells us in Proverbs 23:7 that, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” The apostle Paul encourages us in Philippians 4:8 to think on whatever things are true and just and lovely and honorable. With hundreds, even thousands, of thoughts entering our minds each and every hour, these verses are among the greatest challenges offered to us, yet also numbered in the most vital to our well-being.

 

How easy it is to allow our thinking to become negative or fixated on difficult circumstances–how natural to let unforgiveness or bitterness creep in! If our minds focus on such things, however, our hearts and speech overflow. As the modern saying goes, “What we focus on, grows.” I have been guilty of focusing on my own circumstances and pain recently–perhaps always, and I have seen the poor fruit resulting.

 

Words from an old friend call to me, “Genuine faith does not look at itself–it looks at God. When I feel in pain, the enemy is trying to get me to look at myself and look away from my Healer. When I feel insecure, then the enemy is trying to get me to look at myself and will remind me of my failings. So instead of trying to have more faith, I will try to look to Christ–remembering all His perfection, faithfulness, and goodness…. And I am in Him.”

 

Right thinking is one of the only sure foundations for living but it seems a monumental task. So how do I get there? As my friend encourages, I must focus on my Healer instead of the challenges at my doorstep or the ache in my heart or the pain in my body. I’m often reminded of King Jehosaphat’s story in II Chronicles 23–even when the circumstances are insurmountable, gratitude, praise, and prayer are always my way out. Author and researcher Brené Brown finds that the simple daily practice of keeping a gratitude journal is one of the biggest factors in cultivating the wholehearted attitude of gratitude. Spending time in God’s Word and in worship daily mold us into the image of Christ. The little things we do every day really do make a huge difference in our overall health and happiness.

 

Yet I know that if it’s up to me, my thinking and attitudes will change by small degrees–I’m dependent on the Holy Spirit for deep heart and life transformation. Missionary Amy Carmichael wrote a beautiful poem entitled “Thoughts of God” that begins, “Think through me thoughts of God/ My Father quiet me/ Till in Thy holy presence hushed, I think Thy thoughts with Thee.” He waits for me to surrender in order to be changed, to turn my eyes continually upon Him, but regardless, one thing can never change…I am in Him.

***Photo credits to lovedoes.org

The Present Nu…

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The more I journey into my adult life, the more I find that the past is something that has a strong grip on me. For better or worse, it has shaped me into the person I am today. Many memories, trained reactions, and wounds are hard to let go of. I’ve found that some are even woven into parts of my subconscious and nervous system. This way of being can in fact, be a place of exile. As author Leif Enger mentions in his novel Peace Like a River, “Exile is a country of shifting borders, hard to quit yet hard to endure, no matter your wide shoulders, no matter your toughened heart.” Though I know that it is only as I grow and learn to dwell in the present that I can embrace all that God has for me, it is quite a journey to learn how to do that. 

 

What a comfort to know that regardless of where I dwell–past, present, or future–God is with me. Psalm 46:1 states, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.” We often hear that God the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last. I recently read a quote by William Watley that emphasizes another aspect of His character: “You are connected to somebody who is not only the Alpha and the Omega, but the Nu as well. Alpha and omega are the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet; nu is the middle letter. Thus, Jesus is not only somebody who will be with us in the beginning….He abides with us in all that is between…in the middle.” 

 

God offers us His support in each moment of our lives simply through His presence. I ask, by His mercy, that I may learn to let go of the past and abide in the present with Him. Dominican singer and songwriter Juan Luis Guerra has a song called “Tan Solo He Venido/I Have Only Come,” which speaks to the author’s desire to commune with God. In it, he speaks to wanting to walk in the park with the Lord and have a conversation, just to be with Him and worship Him and know Him more, trusting God already knows the needs and petitions of His heart. Though at times I may get discouraged with the slow speed of my growth, it’s a consolation to find this level of companionship and comfort always waiting for me.

“DO IT AGAIN…”

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Though my family didn’t move to Colorado until I turned eight, having lived here thirty years this year, I consider myself very much a Colorado girl. Filled with more Fourteeners than any other state, Colorado’s high desert tundra, crystal mountain lakes, majestic sunrises and sunsets, alpenglow, and mystical mountains have “filled up my senses” countless times.

 

I’ve often wondered what it is about mountains that’s so captivating. They’re definitely a solid, seemingly immovable presence. They remind us there’s something and someone greater than us, greater than the obstacles we face each day. They invite and beckon to adventure, exploration, and challenge. They call us to see new beauty and summit the heights. And yet, as solid and unchanging as the mountains seem, Jesus tell us we can move them. “…Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20, NIV).

 

There are a few seasons of life that have been marked journeys of faith for me, times when God called me to believe something that seemed virtually impossible at the time. It required a long wait, a lot of growth, and an attitude of expectancy as I navigated the valleys and summited the peaks. Sometimes, the hoped-for result came. Sometimes not. Most often, the answer looked quite different than I anticipated. But always, always, God proved Himself faithful, and the greatest reward came from His presence on the journey. In reality, it wasn’t my faith that moved mountains. My Father God worked on my behalf to move them for me as I depended on Him.

 

Several things have shifted in my circumstances lately, or burst, perhaps, is a better word. So now, here I am, once again in another season of absolute need, desperate for my God to move. As many times as God’s done the impossible and shown Himself strong in my life, still, it requires more faith for me to believe He’ll do it again. I continue to allow my fear to be bigger than my faith. But as song artist Rita Springer says, “I have to believe that He sees my darkness. I have to believe that He knows my pain…. For He said that He’s forever faithful. He said He’s forever true. He said He can move mountains. He can move my mountains; He can move your mountains too. I have to believe.” Faith simultaneously transforms us and sustains us. In Isaiah, hundreds of years before Jesus came, God assures us, “…I will not forget you. See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Your walls…are ever before me” (Isaiah 49:16). What I face, He faces…He has engraved me on the palms of His hands. He has always been faithful…He will be again. “I believe Lord, help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24).

 

There’s a song by Elevation Worship that’s been speaking to my heart, “DO IT AGAIN.” The lyrics state:

 

“Walking around these walls

I thought by now they’d fall

But You have never failed me yet

Waiting for change to come

Knowing the battle’s won

For You have never failed me yet

 

Your promise still stands

Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness

I’m still in Your hands

This is my confidence, You’ve never failed me yet

 

I know the night won’t last

Your Word will come to pass

My heart will sing Your praise again

Jesus, You’re still enough

Keep me within Your love

My heart will sing Your praise again

 

I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains

And I believe, I’ll see You do it again

You made a way, where there was no way

And I believe, I’ll see You do it again…”

 

Indeed. I have seen Him move mountains. And I do believe. I will see Him do it again. He has made a way where there was no way. Let’s believe we’ll see Him do it again.

Un Examen…

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As a Spanish speaker, I’m very familiar with the term “un examen,” meaning an exam or test. Until recently, however, I was not familiar with the term “examen” as it was first practiced by the Ignatius of Loyola in the Fourteenth Century. The examen was a series of six questions the Jesuit priests used for reflection at the end of each day:

 

  • Where did I experience the most consolation today?
  • Where did I experience desolation?
  • What was the most life-giving encounter today?
  • What was not life-giving?
  • For what was I most grateful today?
  • For what was I least grateful?

 

I am struck by how deeply each of these questions resonates, but also by what a profound practice and ritual this is. In my own culture and life and time, it seems that I am always on the move. Like many, my to-do list is a mile long and I struggle to let go of many of the items on it each day, always pushing. In the end, I push because I feel good about myself when I have accomplished a lot, but is that truly a place of consolation, or one of desolation? A quote I read recently from Do Hyun Choe Sugi Master reflects the balance we all must find well: “Movement is what creates life. Stillness is what creates love. To be still and still moving…that is everything.”

 

So in this new year, as with every year, this is one of the intentions, “…to be still and still moving.” To do so, I must find a daily balance between joyfully completing the tasks that I must do, being with the people I love, and resting. First and foremost must come time to “Be still and know that [He] is God.” Carving out time for the type of reflection suggested by the examen would be a lovely conclusion. Max Lucado reminds us, “Next time a sunrise leaves you breathless or a sunset leaves you speechless, STOP…REMAIN THAT WAY. Say nothing as heaven whispers: ‘Do you like it? I did it just for you?’ “