Grace…

Grace…what a beautiful word! Which one of hasn’t longed to find a way to redeem our mistakes, to have an encounter that would make us whole, to accept light and love for ourselves, and to extend this full life to others? Merriam-Webster defines grace as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance.” Sometimes it’s so hard to extend grace to others; mostly, it seems insurmountable to really accept it for ourselves. I think this is why the Apostle Paul said it over and over in his letters: “Grace and peace to you through Christ.” It takes many experiences to show us our need, many reminders it is ours for the taking, many encounters to truly transform. Although it’s freely offered, it wasn’t cheap, for it was purchased for us through the precious blood of Christ. It waits for us always, needs only be accepted, is relentless in its pursuit, and brings us true and lasting peace,. Ann Voskamp says it this way: “Grace is like the wind. It finds us as we are, but it does not leave us as we have been….ALL is grace.” All is grace.

 

If we can remain open enough to receive the unmerited favor that always awaits us, then perhaps our experiences will ultimately be woven into something beautiful? If we long to redo different steps in our journeys, then perhaps we’ve ventured out enough to risk mistakes, and to know the value of forgiveness? Grace involves acceptance of the beauty of what IS, but it also entails the willingness to risk. As André Gide once said, “One cannot see new lands, unless he is prepared to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” To truly find the wind in our sails, we might indeed lose sight of the shore, but we can never escape the endless ocean of God’s gracious love.

“Maybe wholeness is not reaching for perfection in your life; maybe wholeness is embracing brokenness as part of your life….Maybe life always tastes a bit like regret. Whatever you do or don’t do, there is no way to never taste it. And though you may have to taste regret, you don’t have to believe in it, you don’t have to live in it, like rowing a boat that only goes backward, trying to find something that’s been washed out to sea. It’s god’s sea. And that means all is grace” (The Broken Way, Ann Voskamp).

A good friend…a fellow teacher and blogger, a beautiful woman and mom, in trysting with her pen, reflected:

Because I’m not

what i could be

or should be

i will remember

you need that

also from me

knowing i fail

at loving you

perfectly

and yet everything

is beautiful

as it is

“Amen, Come Lord Jesus”…

I long for the day when the Lord will come. As the old hymn says, “What a day that will be, when my Jesus comes for me, when I look upon His face, the one who saved me by His grace, when He takes me by the hand, and leads me to the promised land. What a day, glorious day, that will be!”  Many time in this valley of shadows, I can see God’s hand. Others, I must find it enough to trust His heart. Yet there are also those days, or even seasons, when it seems my faith is spent, and I look in vain for the development of the fruits of His Spirit at work within me. His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control seem sadly lacking from my life, and from the lives of those around me. Though I physically and mentally and emotionally fail every day, I am assured in Philippians 1:6  that “He who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it.” Keith Green had a beautiful song about this journey of faith, proclaiming the Lord’s ability to soften the hardest of places in our hearts:

 

My eyes are dry

My faith is old

My heart is hard

My prayers are cold

And I know how I ought to be

Alive to You and dead to me

But what can be done

For an old heart like mine?

Soften it up

With oil and wine

The oil is You, Your Spirit of love

Please wash me anew

With the wine of Your Blood

 
The psalmist also acknowledged: “MY flesh and MY heart MAY fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever” (Psalm 63:7, emphasis mine). Come do your work Father; be to me now and always what you are, and every will be!  As Revelations proclaims, “Amen, come Lord Jesus.”

“You Don’t Owe Me a Thing”

My sweet sis always says everything happens for a reason. She’s ridden enough of the roller coaster of life that this statement is deserving of respect. I find her calm and steady assurance that all will work for the good ever reassuring. Though my “little” sister and I have always been friends, it wasn’t until our adulthood that we became true allies to one another in every area of life. It is she, more than any other, who offers me the greatest sense of belonging, strength and understanding. She gave me a gift for my high school graduation that set us off on this new depth of connection. It is a framed picture that still sits on my dresser; our smiling faces look enthusiastically up at the camera from the lens of childhood, our arms protectively around one another. It also holds a short poem: “My sister deserves to know, that even though I don’t always show it, she is absolutely essential to the happiness that lives within my heart.” Reading that, I knew that whatever sense of juvenile competition or disagreement had kept us apart, she had loved me always, and always would. She deserves to know this too…she is forever my love.
She became a mother young, and has always been a working mother. Though of course I may be a trifle biased, her two daughters are amazing and beautiful, soft and strong, sharing many of my sis’s wonderful qualities. Her name is Alyssa, recognizing the sweet fragrance and appearance of the alyssum flower, but meaning logical. Though she is quite rational, and this appellation indeed fits her, I think it’s her bold and logic-defying belief in the presence of God’s master plan in all things that inspires me most. She has worked hard at shaping her thoughts in this way, and to do what Winston Churchill suggests of optimists: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”  Coupled with this strength is an unshakeable loyalty and dedication to those she loves, accentuating her beauty more and more every day. Another quote, by an unknown author, reflects the power of her life best: “After all this time, the sun has yet to say to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that: it lights up the world!” What a powerful gift, to pour yourself out for others, and still look them in the eye as if to say, “You don’t owe me a thing”. Her love most certainly shines as one of the brightest lights in my journey. “Blessed are those who give without remembering, and take without forgetting” (Elizabeth Bibesco).